Home is Not Quite the Same

Our home is not quite the same anymore...our office has been partially converted into a room for Carl's mother, complete with a hospital bed.  We are on Day 22 of our new lives with MawMaw in our home.  With her not being able to care for herself, one of us has to be at the house with her 24/7.  With my job being more flexible, here I am.  Carl tries to take over her care when he's home at night and on the weekends.  But I miss my job (never quite thought I'd say that these last few years) and I miss worshipping with my church family.  Carl is in charge of the sound room/audio visual, so it is more important for him to be there than me.  Thanks to those great guys who helps him out on Sunday nights and Wednesday nights though!  She wants a "female" here too, and doesn't like the idea of her grandsons being the ones to help her with certain things, you know.  But we FINALLY will be getting her in to a doctor next Wednesday, the 20th, and will possibly have a better idea at what we're going to be looking at down the road, and hopefully getting in some home health care and possible physical therapy - only if she would even benefit after this long with nothing to help her.  We don't foresee her ever returning to her tri-level house with all the stairs and living alone, but truly, only God knows what we're all in for in the days ahead. I'm trying to hold it together, but am having a difficult time not just running away some days.  God forgive me for my attitude and help me to be more compassionate and caring.